2016 has been a year of changes so far.
It started out in January with a health scare involving my boyfriend’s parents, which lead to him spending a month located three states and a time zone away.
A part time job that had only partially met my financial needs ended on February first.
I started an online business (The School of Lost Arts) teaching long-forgotten self-reliance skills via two-way live video, and got my first students.
I came to understand my faith in a way I never had before, thanks to a small church in a very old tradition (more about that in a later post!)
And, that understanding lead to a need to make a change in living arrangements.
It was hard.
It felt like we were breaking up.
I fervently hoped and prayed that certain jobs I’d applied for would come through, because unemployment was ending and I had no prospects – and I very much wanted to rent in the same part of town, if I could.
But nothing materialized. My options were nearly non-existent.
I held on to indecision for awhile, till I couldn’t hold out any longer. It tore me apart, but I moved back in with my mom.
Granted, she needed the help, and I needed a place to stay, but at my age? Moving in with Mom felt like a giant leap backwards.
I was in denial. Still am. I’ve refused to unpack so far (except for hanging some clothes in the closet, I’m living out of a suitcase). I’ve slept on the couch instead of claiming one of the bedrooms.
I didn’t want to admit things were changing.
Changes can be unsettling, difficult even. They force us to give up something in order to get something else.
“Is this a step forward, or a step back?” we wonder.
We fear the worst, and hope for the best.
Was this move a good thing or a bad thing? I don’t know, yet. I just know things are ch-ch-ch-changing and I didn’t want them to.